“A brother wronged is more unyielding than a fortified city; disputes are like the barred gates of a citadel.”
Proverbs 18:19
“I want you to be
nice… Until it’s time not to be nice.”
Patrick Swayze to the other bouncers in Road House
There’s a danger of showing your age when quoting lines from
the classic movie, Road House. Younger people have no idea what you’re
talking about. It’s not as bad as making
a “Rosebud” reference from Citizen Kane
(1941), but it can make you feel like you’re in the same ballpark sometimes.
For the uninitiated, Road
House is about a bouncer (Patrick Swayze) who is hired to go to a small,
backwoods town in Missouri
where some local ruffians are ruining a local bar by making it a warzone for
fights. His job is to restore peace by
training the staff to deescalate the increasing violence.
His first training session with the bouncers starts with him
giving them the advice of “be nice”. No
matter what bar patrons say to them, they shouldn’t take it personally. It’s a job.
He instructs them not to retaliate, but walk offenders out of the bar,
nicely. They should be nice, until it’s
time not to be nice.
The inevitable question he gets after this speech is “how do
we know when it’s time not to be nice?”
He answers succinctly, “You don’t.
I’ll let you know.”
As a Charlotte property
manager, we often run into the same question. This may come as news, but tenants don’t
always follow the lease to the T. They
want to do what they want to do, regardless of what they signed their name
to. This can be frustrating. And it can lead to the impulse to escalate
situations quickly by invoking phrases like “throw you out on the street”,
“it’s eviction time”, and “you’ll never live indoors again when your next
potential landlords ask me for a reference”.
That’s not nice. And
it’s usually foolish.
In my experience, nicely
asking tenants to do something differently is effective. For example, if they are leaving the trash
cans out for days which elicit HOA complaints, we may ask, “Would you mind trying
to get the trash cans in a little earlier so we can be compliant with the HOA
rules? I wouldn’t want them to start
sending fines.” Or “can you try to make your
rental payment a little earlier? The
owner needs to be able to pay his mortgage on time and it would also save you
from donating late fees to us every month.
You’re usually only off by a few days.”
Most tenants are reasonable and respond well to landlords
who ask for things nicely. I feel as a
property manager, one of our most important jobs is to establish a respectful
relationship with the tenants who rent from us.
We both need things from each other and it’s much better for all
involved when the relationship is cordial.
However, when a landlord is repeatedly ignored or there are
egregious violations, it may be time not to be nice. This is when court action may be necessary,
but it rarely leads to a happy ending. Remember,
the tenant and his/her family are losing the place where they live and sleep;
in Charlotte, at least, it’s going to be difficult for them to find another
house easily due to the lack of available housing and a recent eviction on
their credit. They are in a really bad
situation that they will probably blame the landlord for.
At this point, the relationship in most cases is irrevocably
broken. The chances of receiving
additional rent are low and the house is usually returned in horrible shape. It’s a true “lose-lose” transaction.
It’s actually the same ending as in Road House. When it was time
for Swayze and his fellow bouncers not to be nice, it infuriated the bad guys and
a civil war broke out in the town. A lot
of people got hurt (including Swayze’s best buddy, Sam Elliot, who was killed)
and a lot of property was destroyed. In
the end, Swayze got his Pyrrhic victory which, outside of movie logic, would
only be considered a complete disaster.
So, be nice and try to keep things nice as long as it
depends on you! It’s much better than
having to turn to the alternative.
Happy Landlording!
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